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Oh, you unruly teenagers!

July 24, 2009

A couple of days ago, in a feed from Reuters on Yahoo!, Sec. State Hillary Clinton said of North Korea,

What we’ve seen is this constant demand for attention… And maybe it’s the mother in me or the experience that I’ve had with small children and unruly teenagers and people who are demanding attention – don’t give it to them, they don’t deserve it, they are acting out.

The article was headlined

Clinton likens North Korea to unruly children

But somehow, I just don’t believe that’s Reuters’ headline. (Okay, maybe I’m playing the innocent here, maybe I’m running on Reuters’ reputation alone. But it’s an old-school British network, Reuters; they’re not usually this flashy.)

Yesterday, July 23, Yahoo! News published a piece (issuing from the “Yahoo! Newsroom, ‘Blog of the #1 News-site”) headlined

Hillary’s terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day

– ahh, now that’s the kind of Yahoo! headline I expect. Heck, let’s paraphrase this headline: “VICE-PRESIDENT FEMALE, SUSPECTED HISTRIONIC HARRIDAN, HAS BAD DAY, TEARS HAIR OUT.” Well, that’s nice. What awful thing happened to you, Starshine, that made you grimace (we suspect) like all the unflattering photos that have ever been taken of you?

Well, it was tragic, really. North Korea said

Hillary’s a funny lady who looks sometimes like a primary schoolgirl. Sometimes like a pensioner going shopping.

Wow, like massive bruised ego, girl! Doctor, doctor, the Secretary of State needs mascara, STET! Oh, you North Koreans, you so funny! – Don’t’cha know, my fellow Americans, these fine folks in the NK press room and diplomatic corps are making a grand joke, and hoping like hell we’ll get it?

Like, isn’t bitchy North Korea’s rhetoric, like, soooooo unruly teenage snotnosed talkback? YOU FUNNY LADY. YOU PRIMARY SCHOOLGIRL NERDY LAME-O. YOU OLD, WRINKLED WHEELBARROW BAGLADY! YOU NO SEXY. WHAT GOOD YOU?

In other words,

Hello, there. We’re the North Korean Press Corps, and we’re not nearly as crazy as our leaders. Yeah, Secretary of State Clinton is precisely correct: we project an image of being an unruly teenager. We can see through the bullshit. But then again, are we acting this way because you can only see us this way?

In other words:” We dance to the American media’s music. Do you do too?”

It’s a theory, at any rate.

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