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Pop goes porn. Porn goes pop!

August 7, 2009

There is some totally NSFW salaciousness ahead. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

We think it’s mindboggling and hilarious that a three-second quasi-exposure of a Janet Jackson breast should have a great nation like ours in an uproar, while Shakira, in She-Wolf, is strutting porn poses in a flesh-colored bodysuit. We like this video for a lot of reasons – for example, those glimmers of Jane Fonda in Barbarella and Racquel Welch in One Million Years B.C. (the future and past of rapacious female sexuality bound together in the present trouser-tentsion of Shakira). We enjoy the twitchy cyber-spidery shoulders and the digital cavegirl-to-averagegirl dance moves.

But mainly, we like it because it packs all of these things below one insistent message which is: yes, we want to fuck Shakira.

Yeah, yeah, embedding’s disabled. Do us a favor and click the back button after you’re done jizzing your underalls to this because there’s stuff that’s just as awesome down below.

Whoa. Now, if you think you can handle any more without completely ruining your unmentionables, check out this video from Major Lazer, which is a dancehall project of Diplo and Switch. It’s even dirtier than Shakira’s moves, but it adds such a whacked-out pop-art weirdness that the (very graphic) simulated sex is made into bizarro-world comedy – as if we’re all living in this fucked-up world where the totality of existence is about fucking. And: that’s hilarious, isn’t it?

Get set for your eyeballs to fry.

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